Friday, January 21, 2011

Great Expectations

Being a first time mom, I have all of these expectations for what I want my child to achieve and when. I know, how ignorant. But, I can't help but want to set these goals for him and honestly, I kind of expect that we'll be able to accomplish it together with work. After a rather heated debate on the birth board I'm a part of about bed wetting, I started to really think about the fact that my little snuggle bug might not be ready to be perfectly potty trained both day and night right off the bat. I'm not saying I expect him to never have accidents, but I don't want him in pull ups while he's in elementary school. I understand that some kids have medical problems and that hinders them from having accident free nights. But, I just have this expectation for my child that by 3, they won't need to have pull ups. The occasional accident is okay, I peed the bed once in a while after that too. If you dream you're peeing and your body doesn't wake up right away, you will eventually wake up from the warmth of your dream, er, pee.

That's just one thing I expect though. The others are things like: I want him walking at least a few steps here and there by the time he's one. I don't know if we can achieve that earlier, but if we can, awesome! Another is that I would like for him to be at least speaking a few words by the time he's 15 months. Even if they're not big words, but the basic 'mama', 'daddy', 'milk', and other words that he can use to communicate with us. And like I said, the earlier the better!!

So, I keep thinking of this. If we have such expectations for our children before they're even born, is that really healthy? Or are we possibly setting ourselves up for disappointment when we may not be able to achieve these goals with our children? When is it unhealthy to expect something for our babies that might not come so easily?

I'd like to think I'm not asking too much. I want to believe that I have already set standard goals that should be achievable in a timely manner.

Yuck, am I going to be THAT mom? Uh-oh...

1 comment:

  1. I have come to realize that for me, having high expectations was not a good thing. When my child didn't accomplish the things that I hoped or expected she would, I was disappointed. At me and at her. What did I do wrong? Am I a bad mom? Over the years, I have learned to just let things happen as they happen and learn to appreciate all that she does accomplish instead of wish she could do this or that, or in your case, have done it earlier.